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20-Nov-2017 14:30

I think there are enough quality people out there who are NOT this way that you don’t have to accept that from a relationship.

I’ve written this before and gotten a little bit of blowback on it.

But now that I’m on the other side, I can completely understand why they did.

Oh, and to answer your last question, Katie, my moodiness pretty much disappeared when I found this career and got married.

But other times, it affects me negatively, like when we have plans and he now “doesn’t feel up to it”.

We’ve talked about it, many, many times and he thinks it’s out of his control. Since you mentioned being moody, I was wondering – is that a thing of the past?

I think your question, Katie, is good snapshot of most questions I get on this blog: some form of “I’m dissatisfied with my boyfriend. ” The thing is that he may have the biggest heart in the world, but if he’s perpetually unemployed, a serial cheater, a drug addict, a commitmentphobe, or a terrible communicator, it really doesn’t matter how much you love him.If there’s one thing I’ve concluded after marrying a happy person, it’s that everyone should marry a happy person. Needless to say, given the amount of misery in the world, choosing from only happy people would leave a much shallower dating pool, and yet, I still think it’s worth the risk.And while I tend not to believe in black and white thinking, I don’t believe that someone who is fundamentally unhappy can be a great partner.I dated a LOT in that time and while there were many stretches where I could get by on charm, I could never mask my perpetual dissatisfaction with my career.Women would take a chance on me, but either I was a total downer or I was so unhappy that I’d choose an unsuitable woman just because she was there. I don’t want to sound like I have no sympathy for your boyfriend.

I think your question, Katie, is good snapshot of most questions I get on this blog: some form of “I’m dissatisfied with my boyfriend. ” The thing is that he may have the biggest heart in the world, but if he’s perpetually unemployed, a serial cheater, a drug addict, a commitmentphobe, or a terrible communicator, it really doesn’t matter how much you love him.

If there’s one thing I’ve concluded after marrying a happy person, it’s that everyone should marry a happy person. Needless to say, given the amount of misery in the world, choosing from only happy people would leave a much shallower dating pool, and yet, I still think it’s worth the risk.

And while I tend not to believe in black and white thinking, I don’t believe that someone who is fundamentally unhappy can be a great partner.

I dated a LOT in that time and while there were many stretches where I could get by on charm, I could never mask my perpetual dissatisfaction with my career.

Women would take a chance on me, but either I was a total downer or I was so unhappy that I’d choose an unsuitable woman just because she was there. I don’t want to sound like I have no sympathy for your boyfriend.

I’ve read through your posts on changing men, or not changing men, depending on the situation.